„Be – don’t try to become“ – Osho
Stumbling along on this path called “my life”, all experiencing seems so ephemeral that by and by writing about it and even much talking about it seems irrelevant or futile and communication about insights about the mystery of life and “the beyond” appears even presumptuous. Who am I to talk? Who am I? What do I know, worth sharing, worth putting down in black and white?
Yet, being asked to write about “expansion & contraction” – or was it “contraction & expansion”? – I agreed: Yes, I can do that. It seems such a deep-rooted thread of knowing that, over time, has been woven into the fabric of my every day living: expansion follows contraction follows expansion follows contraction…
As a teenager and in my young, so called adult life I wrote songs and poetry and filled books with my thoughts and feelings. There was such a longing to express my findings, such a romantic involvement with my experiencing. I wished for the beauty and wonder and love to increase and was devastated when it didn’t, when I was getting tight and stressed and the circumstances around me felt confining.
In the early days of meditation, I had a taste of a space beyond the poles of yes and no, of accepting and refusing, desiring and fearing, good and bad, of expansion and contraction. It wasn’t a first taste, more a remembering of unity, before or beyond the separation of a crystallized “I”. My master, Osho, a man of silence and magician of words, while helping the mind, “my” identified I, to understand the dynamics of personality, between the words, with all his being, pointed to the truth beyond duality, and beyond the beyond.
After these early experiences, in the habit of grasping, I longed to be there again: in the vastness, the infinity and peace of “the beyond”, of “I” beyond separation. So “I” became a regular meditator – for some years.
Now, thirty-some years later, I’m smiling about all of this. By and by I came to realise that ALL is part of it: the separation and the unity, the crystallised I and infinity, tension and relaxation. In the play of existence what is has its place. After expansions follows contraction – And whatever is – this too shall pass.
As Padmasambhava, who brought Buddhism to Tibet, put it:
“In the infinite mandala of space, all phenomena are easily accommodated. They are easily accommodated and there is still space.
In the infinite mandala of mind-essence all thoughts and feelings are easily accommodated. They are easily accommodated and there is still space.”
In the realm of phenomenon, where things and beings huddle, duality is the law of the land. Good comes with evil, no starlight without night no expansion without contraction. I feel enticed to add no Trump without Obama. And again: this too shall pass!
It is a tremendous freedom to walk and dance in these colors, to find beauty and harmony hidden. To allow creativity to flow from this speckle of an “I” amidst this abundant creation called live.
Who walks? Who dances? Who lets?
Who am I to say?
We can observe, all around us and very easily in our bodies this law of existence, this pulsing between opposite poles, expansion, contraction. Pyar, a fellow traveller and magical mystery teacher pointed out to me that now quantum physics has found a new and conclusive model that the universe has not started with the big bang but existed forever, expanding, contracting, exhaling, inhaling…