Flexibility or the art of letting go

By Kanika Frings


When I first arrived to Mallorca together with Charu, having this insane plan of a Centre in the countryside together, we went to a ceremony.


My intention was to find some guidance for this new path.
After a rather uneventful night of tribal sounds and sage fumes, I left in the next morning, having unexpectedly been given the clear message of three distinct qualities that would assist me on this journey. These were Trust, Flexibility and Lightness.
Today, two and a half years later, these three words have remained with me, as a reminder, an invitation and a support.


Trust was the first years big learning. It was all we could do to see us through. Everything was new, nothing was sure and everything was open. I think we did a great job of trusting and it rewarded us threefold.


This years theme you could say, so far has been flexibility. Certainly this one too was a must from the beginning, taking on an endeavour as naively as we had.
But only in the last months has it become so incredibly apparent how vital this quality is in the life we are living here.


With unknown and unexpected people coming through our doors every other way.
Hosting different groups, in size and content, with different needs, facilitated by different teachers.
We never know what will come, who will come, or if they´ll come. Sometimes we don´t even know that they ´ll come, until they show up on our threshold.;)


Our ancient house is a constant surprise from water and electricity cuts, to random chickens making themselves home in our living room.
Nature surprises us with floods and storms in June and 30° heat waves in November. It places kittens on our door step and a snake on the roof.


People stay for three months that initially booked a couple of days and some leave earlier and unexpectedly, occasionally leaving a gap in our hearts and home.


Strangers become family, yet everyone leaves again at one point or another. We get attached and we let go. And again, we welcome new individuals that become friends and teachers.

Sometimes there is more work than any of us can handle, other times the days are riddled with chats and naps and watching the clouds go by. Though truthfully, in the season those happen rather rarely.. ;)


All of this requires flexibility, there is now way around it.
Either you stay and bend to fitful gushes, soak up the rain and sun that is offered to you, sway with the wind and let drought, drizzle and snowfall nourish and strengthen you.
Or you leave.


I am not saying we master this at all times. Often it is an ungraceful squirming, a “trying to bend out of the way”, a “please let this pass” or a “fuck it, i´ve had enough”.
Now almost two years in, many storms have passed by, threatening to uproot us, leaving cracks in our barks and rattling our crown of leaves. But, not only are we still standing, taller and matured, roots anchoring more every day, we have seen many, many others shake, struggle, grow and blossom.


It is easy to come to a place like DIMA with expectations laden high, hopes and dreams projected onto a seemingly picture perfect little conscious community in the sunny hills of Mallorca. Well, let me tell you it is not a just a joy-ride. Everyone comes with their personal package and leaves with their personal gems.
How one masters, or let alone perceives, the weathers is completely different for every individual.
In any case, flexibility helps immensely.


In my experience expectations are there to disappoint, I believe the key to gaining anything and everything is by letting go of what you had imagined it to be.


To me, this is flexibility. Letting go, again and again. Letting go.


with love,