Authenticity – a tricky affair

By Kanika Frings


Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.”

Oscar Wilde


Authenticity. At once the biggest and the most worthwhile challenge I can think of.

What else really matters?!

That might seem like a strange question/remark in the larger scheme of things, but i honestly  believe it is not.

Sure, there is war and hunger and climate change to be considered if you start contemplating “what really matters”, but at the heart of these tragedies, in my opinion, lies the fact that we have lost connection to who we truly are. We are not aligned with our core, our essence, we have betrayed our truth and gone astray.

Hence this conclusion, the way out is the way in.

Change will be a natural consequence of who we are, not merely of what we do.


Yesterday some friends asked me, ‘what would your life look like if you were 5% more authentic then you are today?’

Beside what i would do, i had the immediate sense that i would be at least 5% happier, if not exponentially more so.

But for me the question is not merely whether or not i live my truth, but whether or not i even recognize my truth. Meaning to say that living according to it would be a subsequent step to discovering it.

First the task is to tackle the messy business of untangling our personality from our true self. Of discerning our trained conditionings from our pure nature, unmasked, unpretentious.


This is a tricky affair, as we have invested many years grooming and maintaining an idea of who we are. We have become extremely attached to the values we hold, the beliefs we follow, the cultivated and perfected image of ourselves.

Creating space between that image and our authentic self takes practice and daring and is often an arduous and also painful undertaking.


It is not for nothing that many Masters describe this process as a sort of death. A dying before dying.

Not everyone is cut out for that kind of sacrifice. The dance of being authentic is one of letting go.

Again and again and again. Lightening fast the mind will scramble to pick up the shattered pieces of our identity, convincingly assuring us that we are desperately dependant on this construct for our survival.

Personally, i have believed it many a times, before once again mustering the wits, egged on by my longing for freedom, to question this believed reality anew, and slowly but surely starting to strip myself of the layers i have adorned and masqueraded  myself with.


For me Authenticity is this. The nitty gritty. The messy process of trial and error. Discovering and uncovering. Showing up, hiding, exposing, failing, lying and shining.


Being authentic involves fear and shame and truth and freedom.


It is scary as hell and so fucking worth it!


Dear friends, let’s go for realness, lets stand in our truths, even if our legs are shaking and the sweat is running down our backs.

Let’s not hide our radiance, betray our hearts or excuse our uniqueness.

Let’s not because every one of us deserves to be unapologetically ourselves and because the world need us to be THAT.


with love and passion for truth,




“Many people think that being spiritual means being positive, but being spiritual means being conscious and aware. To become conscious is a much different thing than to become positive. To become conscious and aware, we must become authentic. Authenticity includes both positive and negative.”

Teal Swan