Femininity and receiving life

By Kanika Frings


Writing about femininity seems like describing a wave in action. It seems to change so fast and has so many different facets. From strong and powerful, to soft and tender. Sometimes persistently hammering the shore without merci, other times quietly moving in and out, barely making a sound, calmly smoothing out the traces of disruption in the sand and gently stroking the ground with serenity and natural ease. There are heights and depths, there is foaming fury and extraordinary vastness. Waves, like femininity can be wild and unpredictable and breathtakingly beautiful, all at once.

At this particular point in time, to me personally, femininity shows up in receptivity. In the tendency and calling to respond to life rather then taking action toward anything at all.


This is not a given, as there are many times i feel drawn or compelled to make a move, follow an intuition, trust a gut instinct, respond to an impulse. But right now i sense a leaning back, with open arms, alertly watching what presents itself, with awareness on my inner workings, curious about what arises in response. That – to me feels like femininity right now. Relaxing into not knowing, not planning, not controlling, not acting.

The challenge is not to be passive, not to give in or give up, but to surrender, to trust, to embrace and to draw lines when, and only when, lines need drawing. Not a fraction of a moment before, not out of fear or safety measures, not in reaction or in punishment. But in a natural response.


DIMA seems to be facing another transformation next year and although the new framework is not established and while the reality of another phase of “unknown and unchartered” is conspicuously announcing itself, there is an ease with which I bide the time until the fog on the path will naturally clear itself to reveal what is coming next.


I notice how unusual it is to move through our world today in this way. How many people wrinkle their forehead in either confusion or scepticism when you have no answer to “so what are you gonna do?”. To not even show an inclination to finding an answer, but to simply be with the question mark, “until further notice”.


There is a softness and maturity in it.
Not that my mind doesn’t scramble every now and then, trying to get me to go into overdrive or deciding on a rushed course of action, but something subtler, deeper, knowingly ignores those voices. Until further notice.

One of the most beautiful analogies about the feminine and masculine i have heard recently, is that the masculine presence is like a river bank, containing the wild and vast feminine waters, giving it direction and boundaries as to gather its potential on the way to become one with the ocean. That if the banks aren’t spacious and sturdy the water will leak and overflow, while both then loose their intention and power.


I love that. I am also starting to love the implementation this has to my inner masculine and feminine. To how i hold both the river banks and the river within and it is up to me to give holding to the waters, helping to overcome barriers and rocky stretches and supporting the serpentine flow on the way to freedom and love.
Obviously it is wonderful to have – and be receptive for – that support externally as well, from your partner, father or friends.
But acknowledging that you inherently carry both inside yourself and thus are self-sufficient to that degree is an empowering discovery.


With love,

Kanika Frings