Yes, this is a BIG one. And precisely because it is such a considerable and wide-ranging subject I have decided to not just make it the theme of this months Newsletter, but to dedicate DIMA´s season to the focus and intention on clear, compassionate, constructive and healing communication.
To be perfectly honest, communication, especially the verbal kind, is and never has been my strong suit. It is an area in my life that holds great challenge for my rather introvert and private temperament, but also, clearly bears rewarding growth toward trust and therefor connection and healing.
So not coming from a place of expertise but a place of longing and experimentation i would like to invite the nurturing of this quality into our year at DIMA, and extended of course, into the world….
Obviously living in a community gives little chance to avoid interaction, confrontation, meeting. Each one of us, being part of the whole needs to groom their honest and caring communication skills in a place where triggers are guaranteed and personal spaces are continually overlapping.
Community is a genius device to poke our comfort zones, to question our status quo, to widen and clarify our capacities and boundaries. It is a gift for anyone wanting to meet and dissolve limitations or learn to show up for the discomfort, growth and beauty that lies in relating.
Personally, i see a wide range in my communication, spanning from precise and compassionate articulation, relaxed openness, gentle acceptance to terrified defence, awkward avoidance, skeptic withdrawal, passive-agressive jabs….
One could positively say i am great at interaction and conveyance as well as socially wooden and inapt, both would paradoxically be equally accurate. I suspect most people have a range of similar contradictions when it comes to communication.
The idea of course is not to make ourselves wrong for this tension, but to bring awareness to it, and with awareness comes choice and with choice comes space and with space comes freedom.
This obviously takes practice and is far from being a linear process, but what could be a better practice and playing field then in community?!
So here is to committing to this intention of conscious communication. That naturally also includes unconscious communication, fuck-ups, overreactions, hiding, running, blaming, denial etc, because the process of becoming aware entails meeting the unconscious and unaware. This is where compassion and forgiveness is needed, toward ourselves and others; a whole other, tangent subject…
The difference here, and where change lies, is in the intention and the commitment toward that intention. And in practice.
Frankly, i believe these are prerequisites to bare fruits when you live in close proximity to other human beings, or want to establish healthy and nourishing relationships.
So as difficult as this may be at times, as much as we would like to run and hide at others, as confronting the prospect of staying and showing up can be – i invite you – make communication a priority.
Let´s let ourselves be seen with the shameful and the ugly, with the delicate and the precious. Lets´choose love over fear and connection over isolation.
Let´s in that process respect our boundaries but not barricade ourselves in our comfort zone.
Are you up for that?
I hope so. I know it´s scary, i too get scared, often. But i also know it is where contact and lightness and freedom and joy lies.
It is precisely why i have chosen to live with people and to co-create a space for us to face these obstacles.
We are together in this. Let´s be gentle with each other and make it an adventure…..
Here is to communication with Love,
Kanika & your team DIMA