The deepest meaning of this word for me has been trusting and expressing the whispers of truth that roar through my psyche, no matter how much fear I have to face.
I learned a long time ago that this “truth”, when honored and backed up, keeps me in a state of expansion. Not only does it keep me expanding toward my highest potential, but it cracks open a channel allowing powerful transmissions of light to come through. I also learned that if I don’t do the work to keep expanding, the bulimia, depression, shame, addictions and fatigue of my Northern Irish upbringing, creep back in to remind me that I have a choice. But thankfully I don’t see this as a choice. Light versus misery, self-realization versus prison? There is no choice in this for me. The suffering I endured in my first twenty years consistently inspires me to confront whatever fear is necessary to stay out of hell.
So face fear I do; baby fears – medium fears – big fears. Mainly, like I said, facing the fear (or vulnerability) of trusting the Universe’s intuitive guidance moving through me because the presence of this intelligence is my moral compass. I do this, not only for personal benefit, but also because I believe that taking responsibility for MY fear (of change, vulnerability, the unknown, being out of control), is MY responsibility. If I don’t take ownership for it and do the work to transform it, some other soul is going to have to take it on and feel it for me, like my precious daughter for example. This is how generational trauma is passed along. I work with it everyday in my clients worldwide and see first hand the power we have to transmute our baggage and stop the chain of pain by being willing to embrace fear and trust the immense power of love, light and truth moving through us. Because ultimately, what we’re afraid of, is our power.
Imagine being in a room full of people, perhaps a healing space of some sort, and feeling that something is “off”. It could be something someone said or the approach of the teacher. You can feel it and see it in the energy field but it seems that no-one else is seeing it, or cares. You feel like the only one and decide to say nothing because you might be wrong. Or, you feel afraid that if you do trust yourself and speak up (ie: step into integrity with what the language of energy is actually saying), that you will meet the wrath of the ego you’re addressing – the ego that doesn’t want to listen to the integrity of
the energy field but would rather control all those connected to it. This ego may attack, ridicule, abandon, publicly humiliate and punish you for doing so, especially if it’s in the position of power.
We’ve all have had this happen at some point in our lives – if not numerous times. It’s a familiar control framework where we’re suppressed into going along with the status quo because it’s what we’ve been conditioned to do through fear and intimidation. This is the original severance from integrity which lays rife in our cellular memory. It is a core trauma that we can learn how to heal by confronting the bullying ego (in self and others), by learning to trust what we feel and back it up 100% with ruthless love and compassion, by learning to discern between the voices of ego and truth, by learning how to heal the cells of our body and clean up our emotional baggage, and by understanding how all of this awakens light at profound levels.
The Universe also wants to help us build trust and faith in ourselves (and it) when outside of our comfort zones. For example, what would happen if you did back up your integrity in a situation like the example above? What if the person or people actually heard you and took you in? Do you know what you would do next? What if someone had an emotional break down as a result of your truth? What if your truth unlocked an old trauma (maybe even in you!)? Do you have the therapeutic, emotional, energetic and intellectual skills to ride this all the way through for all involved? Or what if the person or people refused to hear you? Are you prepared to walk out of the space? Or welcome their feedback and stay?
My personal experience is that we are much less likely to back up the integrity of the light moving through us if we lack the structure and tools on how to handle the effects of its power. Remember, “The truth shall set you free”, as Jesus said. That’s a lot of power and a big responsibility for the giver and receiver, and something we must not take flippantly. It’s what I’ve committed my life to – the study of the language of energy at the deepest levels, and it’s what I teach around the world in my Cellular Transformation workshops. That and much more. Because I firmly believe that the power of intuition, trust, sensitivity, bravery, responsibility, ownership, vulnerability, action, love and spirit, equals INTEGRITY at the highest levels.
By Jennifer Millar